We have to read this book, On Being Certain by Robert A. Burton, for a philosophy type humanities class that’s all about truth and knowledge and knowing. It’s a real mind bender so far. Maybe we’re just not good at grasping it, or maybe we just can’t focus well this Semester (we can’t)…so this is what happens when we’re required to write a critical assessment of the first 5 chapters and we’re covering up our confusion and lack of understanding with smart ass retort. (An except from the first paragraph of the paper):
"While I respect that there are cognitive functions and subconscious drives and monsters in my brain driving all of my decisions, feelings, and actions, to analyze them to such a serious degree almost takes the fun out of being human. If that is what I am. I mean, I know I am human, because I feel that I am human…but I could be wrong. What came first, the knowing or the feeling. “He does not know what he knows” (9)…so s/he knows nothing, and s/he knows everything. Because if s/he does not know, then you surely don’t know, so nobody knows…so s/he might as well know everything, you know?”
[(9) is the citation of the quote]
Hopefully our hippie burn out professor thinks it’s funny…:-(
Despite day two of a massive headache (radiating from the base of skull and neck) we drove 70+ miles round-trip to go to one class, did a 50 minute workout at the gym, finished the research paper (all it needs is a quick proofreading), baked four dozen cookies (yes, they are holiday gifts for professors - it doesn’t hurt to “kiss a little ass”)…yet it still feels like we didn’t accomplish anything today…because we watched TV and drank tonight. (!?)
Christmas Break is approaching…we’re going to need to busy ourselves with something or we’re going to fall into a sluggish bout of hopelessness due to a month of inactivity. The canvas is calling…just hope we can cull the inspiration and drive…to not do so would be tragic. That’s putting a lot of pressure on it.
We’ve already started the required reading for next Semester…so maybe there’s that to fall back on for productivity…
It’s kind of scary…a whole month with nothing to do…it feels like it’s been forever since we’ve experienced that…
People literally have reliable resources about the course of history, and everything that’s happened, at least, in the last 100 years. Like access to information on real laws and regulation…not stuff pundits and main stream media try to feed them…things that can be traced…things that can be analyzed…TANGIBLE primary source information…and yet the stupid fucks prop up ridiculous propagandous memes and MSM talking points backed by nothing they actually bothered to learn about, to support their flimsy, at best, arguments and views.
Learn some stuff. You have all the (free) verifiable information at your fucking fingertips. Unlike any other time in history…and people just keep getting more stupid.
The number of things on our Bucket List impressed our 50+ year old Public Speaking instructor, during an impromptu class assignment yesterday.
We haven’t even added planned paintings, or the plots for potential books (both fiction and non-fiction). We added a new (fiction plot based on nonfiction) to the mental list today, even. Or that we still want to try to get permissions for the script that we adapted from a book (tried in 1999 and got denied because the author said she was already doing it, so far…her book has not been turned into a movie)…also, we FINALLY found the short story (50 handwritten pages) we wrote in high school (that we’ve written about in the blog in the past) that we figure we could turn into much more given we are generally a far better writer now than we were in the 10th grade.
This is a tip to the under 18 who follow us on Twitter, on this social media platform, on any of them (for whatever reason the silly fucks do it)…and the newly minted high school graduates. At your age being a veterinarian or architect was top on our list.
We didn’t want to face the 6-7 years required to get that far; not that we didn’t want to learn, love to learn…but because six or seven years of our life just seemed like such a FUCKING LONG TIME.
SIXTEEN years later we’re embarking on the 6TH YEAR of higher education (3 in Universities and a two years of Tech school under the belt)…we have two years to go, if all goes well.
SEVEN YEARS OF HIGHER EDUCATION…
At physically 34 years (on days we know it), we realize we never should have been scared of time.
Of course, who knows what would have happened had we done everything differently…but we never should have feared the clock.
It’s an idea long in the making for us…and it could be “self”-published…a collaborative project.
The Testament of Twitter
23 Books (at least)
20 Chapters (at least)
18 Verses (/Tweets) (at least)
That would be about 360 Tweets per person/Twitter account.
We already call dibs on ‘The Book of Frank’.
Who wants in?
If we can get at least 22 then we’ll work on figuring our how to get it e-published. If someone reading this has experience with e-publishing and wants to help with that part for credit (either Twitter account or real life name) let us know. (Update: @BrewtBlacklist has volunteered, but we can always use alternates)
Each person would be in charge of compiling their own Book in Chapter and Verse format (confused? Open The Bible and take a look at the format) EXISTING TWEETS ONLY UP UNTIL THE TIME OF SUBMISSION (please don’t create Tweets just for it if you can help it.)
[You can request your Twitter/Tweet Archives by going to Settings.Account> scroll to the bottom and click on ‘Request Your Archive’]
Seriously, we’re being serious…
Because life can always get more blasphemous…
Interested? Email: email@example.com or send us an @ on Twitter @justcallmefrank or reply here with your Twitter account name,
As of July 1, 2013 the following accounts are participating.
Growing up our Step Mother accused us of lying on more than one occasion. She though us untrustworthy.
She was never right. We never understood why she thought it.
Perhaps she knew something we didn’t? (perhaps it was a DID thing?), we never intentionally lied, we’re not good at it and you can see it plainly in our face, and most of us know it; but those accusations stuck with us, and since then we have felt we needed to prove ourselves when, somehow, we thought people were questioning our honesty.
The most dreadful thing is being thought a liar, when you are telling the truth, because how do you defend that? People will never believe.
And at the end of the day, the week, the month, the lifetime - that’s why we never talked openly to therapists about each other.
Look, until you tearfully tell a 6 year old living in your head she cannot, in fact, call Big Bird (and she should be quiet while “you” Tweet); and the hateful teen boy in your head that, yes, he’ll probably have to date a man forever; and the angry cunt(s) in your head that they also have to date the man you’ve chosen to spend your life with; and then have all the regular mental health relationship issues, and relationship issues, with the man you live and spend your life with, plus throw in some cultural differences…
Call us whatever you fucking want, pretty sure one of us can handle it, or find the “block” button if they so choose; but of all things, FEW, if any, of us are stupid.
Our ‘Dream Property’ has a sale pending. We’re waiting for confirmation to hear it cleared, after-all, we were once a “sale pending”.
That asshole agent used us, we know it. May he burn in Hell.
We’re trying to be okay with it, as much as we can…because from here we have no idea what to do, where to go….limbo, lost. Just so…so…fucking lost.
We’re trying not to think about it. James is trying not to think about it.
We applied for more jobs this week, maybe we can make enough to move out of here. Most of the jobs we can easily obtain are around the $7/hr range, and we as we are not comfortable working full time yet…we can only take what we can get.
Full time never works well for us, physically or mentally, and usually throws us into an episode involving medication, diagnoses of mental illness, and worse…we’re not ready for that yet. It’s like dipping your toe into poison, a risk.
But let’s not forget, we are educated and employable…but somehow that never makes a difference, and becomes a balance between sanity and insanity. We can only feign stability so long. Just ask James.
Now, back in the United States, we are at more of a risk of being committed against our will, if we’re not careful. That just makes it scarier.
Our agent has been trying to get in contact with the seller agent after he had got angry and told her the deal was off after the bank/seller/asset company rejected our amended offer. She corrected him telling him that there was still a signed agreement between his seller and us, that we had not dissolved the contract, and that he shouldn’t have put the property back on the MLS, which she found out he had done.
It should also be noted that while the property was for sale all summer the property never had a For Sale sign our front, but when we went to have the inspections done on Friday he had put a sign up, after we had signed a purchase agreement.
We called our agent after the inspections, a beat after James told her over speaker phone about the sign, we proudly said “…and then I kicked it over.” It made her laugh, and it made us feel better about the situation.
Over the course of the last couple weeks our agent says he has become increasingly rude and difficult to work with. He’s becoming hard to read. And we’re running out of time.
We’ve been back and forth with her since yesterday afternoon. Today she found out from his broker (boss) that he had gone on vacation! On vacation! He just up and left and is not answering her calls or e-mails! The property is supposed to close on Monday…it won’t…so it defaults to the 25th (Thursday), but we’re still not sure what is going on. It seems that he wants to rip up the agreement and wash his hands with us. We can’t purchase the property at the current price, which he had said when we signed the agreement could be amended after the inspections, and not he is saying no. We feel like they tricked up in order to get free inspections (which cost us $400 in total).
Needless to say this whole experience is causing some stress. Not to mention that they didn’t even fulfill their part of the purchase agreement which was to have both the water running, and propane on site so we could test the furnace. James contacted his immigration lawyer to see if she can recommend a local one in the event this deal continues to slide south and they continue to breech the contract, or try to keep our earnest money ($1000).
We are still, however, holding our resolve, but have been thinking that maybe this property is becoming so difficult to obtain because it’s not the right thing for us…despite having already having waited five months to get to this point, and so we start to entertain the idea of the second property on 20 acres…but it feels…wrong. It makes us even sadder. And we feel exhausted.
We just hope it’s worth the fight. We’re getting tired of fighting for everything.
We don’t always agree on things, us, us, and The Boyfriend (yes, the use of “us” more than once was intentional), but never more so do we agree than on political issues; though there are some disagreements, and we are definitely more political in general than he is - while still some, there’s not a lot for him to be pissed off about regarding his own countries politics.
This, this we agree with. While we may have worded it more delicately, or not…James did a great job. <3
This actually stemmed from the response to one of Frankie’s facebook statuses and was directed at them but since it applies to me too, I thought I’d take a stab at a response. In the end, I felt it was something I’d like to share with others, as I often do with my opinions. So here then, unedited, is my facebook response:
“Libtard”? If you mean belief in the freedom and liberty of people then yes, I’m a “libtard”. If you mean belief of freedom of speech and religion (including freedom not to be religious), free trade (of goods and ideas and in turn, opposed to any restrictions), elections and democracy then yes, I’m a “libtard”. If you mean the belief that all people should be free and to have equal rights (you’ll find a perfect example of such left wing “libtard nonsense” in your beloved “Declaration of Independence”, I suggest you read it) then yes, I’m a “libtard”. If you mean a belief that the “gubnant” should not restrict or take away the rights of its people then yes, I’m a “libtard”. If you mean a belief that personal freedoms shouldn’t restrict the people’s freedom (you (Americans) even went to war with each other over that one) then yes, I’m a “libtard”. But I also have socialistic beliefs (beyond all of the above, what with being British and all). I believe that the government (as the people’s elected governors) should be responsible for providing social services e.g. health care and education and in any other respect, doing what it can to help those are less well off (not through any fault of their own, you know, like single parents who find themselves out of work and struggle to find new employment, as one example of many). If you think those are left wing liberal beliefs then yes, I’m a “libtard” (or are you, like many of your ignorant peers, now going to accuse me of being a communist too?). And I must be a “libtard” because I believe that the government, in its duties to its people and its country, needs funding in order to do these things (or in your case, so that it can send its people to fucking war with a country it has no right to or reason to be involved with) and as such can look to its people in the form of taxes. I further believe that the wealthier minority of a country, those that because of its government, its country and its people have allowed them to become so wealthy, should reward that by paying a higher percentage of taxes (though I’d happily settle for equal percentage at this point). In summary then yes, I must, according to you, be a “libtard” and if this is what makes me a “libtard” then I’d wear that badge with fucking honour. Your fucking ignorance is astounding, but far from surprising.
[Additional] There will always be those that through either ignorance or arrogance that will insist on a label and insist on bastardising and distort the meanings behind those labels. There are those that believe socialism means communism or that one be-gets the other. There will always be those that will cherry pick the founding ideals of socialism and liberalism in order to either shrug off the hypocrisy of their own beliefs and / or to attack other people. Today, certainly from I’ve seen so far in America, people’s ideas / beliefs of what it means to be a socialist of liberal are too distorted to allow me to place such a label on myself without the need to then describe at great length why or what those those labels mean to me. I am a liberal if all that I’ve said above makes me one. I’m also a Socialist if all that I’ve said above makes me one. For what it’s worth, I do believe in everything I said above; I do believe that people should have equality and freedom and liberties but I also believe that we need a selected group of people, a government, to ensure that we continue to enjoy such equality, freedoms and liberties and to protect us from those that attempt to take them away from us. I believe that we, the people, have certain rights but I believe an individuals right should not be to the detriment of another person’s or of the peoples. In order to achieve this balance, we, as individuals have to accept that there are restrictions on our actions to protect the freedoms of others. I know what I am, politically and socially speaking and I know what others label me as. For the most part, whilst they might mean to insult and belittle me, I accept some of those labels because I’m educated and open minded enough to know what those labels truly mean, at least what they used to mean when people first described those terms. To many Americans I am a socialist. I’ll accept that one. To many Americans I’m therefore a communist but that one I will argue I am not whilst I shake my head at their ignorance. And now it seems if [this] person is typical of many (right wing) American people, I’m also a “libtard”. Call me what you like, my eyes and my mind are open and for as long as they remain so, I’ll continue to believe in everything I’ve said here.
..and now we have a chance to bring our Republican Right-Wing NRA-lovin’ Republican father to a dinner with the Democratic President of the United States (if we win, we’re bringing him) - which was apparently part of the donation. So the donation was even better.
The day Obama got elected we were elated, Canadian friends were with us to witness this amazing historical event. While we were not in America at the time, we knew there would be NO MORE job losses, in general. (And despite the megar gains over the last four years, we are smart enough to recognize there has been no more job deficits). The United States had been losing jobs for years. Now (2008)…a chance for balance. And we are not disappointed to this day.
Not to mention, now, if Obama stays the president, we can get affordable insurance for our back problems, when we move in the next few months. We need affordable medical care, no question, for our pre-existing back condition. It’s too expensive and risky to try to get months before the election…so we painfully wait.
It was only $10, our donation…but it was fucking worth it.
Even if he doesn’t get re-elected, and we can never afford insurance for our pre-existing back issues (deteriorated spin, dessicated disks, protrusions… arthritis…at 33 years of age - from an interstate collision with a semi-truck) [we won’t be able to afford it, it’ll be over $600 a month], we’ll always wish we could have donated more.
And so, finally, today, we donated what we could…for hope for our future. For hope for many others’ future.
Before we left Canada, where we lived for 7 years, we had our final medical checkups, including a final MRI for our back (http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/09/tonight-mri-guest-blogger-entry.html), to have the most current one we could before coming back to the States. We figured once we got back “home”, we’d never have health insurance anywhere near affordable, for the things we needed it for, because of so many pre-existing conditions.
Under “Obamacare” - The Affordable Healthcare Act, we have a chance.
Just like so many countless people in the United States, a chance to enjoy affordable healthcare, and therefore a healthier and longer future of working.
THAT’S just one reason why the election is so important to us this year, THAT’S why we will vote Democrat this year - so we can stay healthy and productive members of society.
It was a bit of a disaster, had two trailer houses abandoned, full of junk, and feral cats (behind the house, and in the woods), as well as junk all over in the long grass, and buildings that appeared to all needing removing.
There were no strong positive feelings for the property, except for the three very nice, very lush, apple trees, and the fact that it’s 38.5 acres. The house…is indescribable…we couldn’t live in any part of it while it’s being fixed, given the season (fall/winter)…
It is from here on known as Option #3. The Horror House.
So, we have Weeping Willow, The Fox Property, and The Horror House.
Two weeks, roughly, Weeping Willow is due for another price drop (providing it’s not already sold…when we stopped by to check in there were two people [no agent] out walking the property) at which point we pounce with an offer…our last offer. If we can’t work out a deal with the bank on that one then we’ll put an offer on The Fox Property. Hopefully that will go well. If it doesn’t…option three comes into play…and a whole lot of tears and disappointment.
We’re supposed to be out of The Mother’s house by mid-October, which is fair…minus the four months we spent in England the start of the year we’ve been here since mid-October last year.
We’re trying to stay positive, and extra so for James because to be positive is not in his nature. It’s not in some of ours either. We need to be positive, yet realistic.
In high school there was a girl named Jenny. She seemed sorta new, even though we were new too (for us, ninth grade, new city, new school), she didn’t really talk to that many people, she had very few friends, she was part of the group of people we hung with. She dissappeared during high school, after only a year or so, but for some reason we remember her. She was odd. She would sit in the bleachers during gym class, sometimes, and look off into space, smiling…she seemed weird.
We understand her far better now that we can explain. We wish we would have gotten to know her better.
Is it rational that it makes my stomach turn to be put in a list on Twitter called “Multiples Like Me”.
Look, if we wanted to be defined that way, particularly on Twitter, we’d slap #DID or some shit in our bio, like all the others that think that is somehow a defining characteristic of who “they” are (just like anyone who throws any laundry list of “mental disorders” in their bio).
We use “we” and “us” for our benefit, because it’s how we feel comfortable expressing ourselves. It didn’t start with any conscious reason, so we just kept with the very comfortable feeling it gave us.
Irrational to not want to be defined?
We, I specifically, don’t want to be defined by our “disorder”, just like most don’t want to be defined by their physical appearance (you know, except the “attractive” people).
It’s irrational to block the person, for such a reason, I get that, but I can vent a bit here, that’s slightly more rational.
We had to “come out” to James’ immigration lawyer today. No specifics given, but she needed to know, we’re filing the remainder of the paperwork on Monday, and then off to the government it goes. Then the wait. Then the interviews.
James breached the subject of blogs, but his blogs, not ours. Then we, James, us, had to explain why we were not willing to share personal correspondences, since the start of our relationship, with the government. Private e-mails, exposing our mental illness to the government.
We came out with our mental illnesses, but not DID/MPD…we went as far to state the (mis)-diagnoses of the social anxiety disorder, the bipolar disorder, the severe depression, the schizophrenia, all on OUR permanent record, if the government chose to look into it, that’s what they’d find. So we felt it should be addressed.
She was very kind about it, and actually thought it touching and wonderful, the love James has for us “despite the mental illness”. She said it may help our case, if we chose to disclose it. For obvious reasons we said we did not want to do that.
But yeah, coming out, while not completely, to a near stranger…that’s a fun day, right? She thanked us for sharing it, as we, only semi-shamefully, walked out the door.
James is having to take down some pieces off of his blog, and certainly anything linking him with ours, because while they are certain to do an internet search on him, they won’t find anything on us purely by our legal name.
She did say that they probably know who “I” am, given the nature of things we write about on our main blog (government, freedom, etc.) Making us think we’re on some kind of list (yay, for paranoia!)
Fingers crossed, that exercising our freedom doesn’t come back to bite us in the ass.
Re: The 2012 drought and the econmic crisis of the United States
“It’s the Dust Bowl and Great Depression of the 30’s, re-wrapped and gifted, as we retreat into the warped, close-minded ideals of the same decade, with the knowledge and technological advancement of the 21st century withering at our feet.” ~ Frank et al [on Facebook, to Sheep King (a.k.a @1stCitizenKane on Twitter)]
Why we do this “series” on Tumblr: because otherwise we’d lose some of the things we may want to put into pieces we write on our other blog. Also, because we fucking can.
“Like a pile of puppies clambering for the limited space at a teat, the ones at the bottom get crushed, but who cares, as long as the puppies at the top get theirs.” (our analogy on American freedom)
"There is no equality in the face of the grandest of lies." (our comment on why lying, if you are media, or in high power, should be against the law)
Shit we wrote on Facebook today (one turned into a Tweet). This serves for our memory and retreval, since we don’t want to do another blog post on Blogger just for a few lines.
Tumbr, be our whore.
Oh, and so the FCC says the news can lie about anything? But GOD FORBID you say “Fuck”, or “Cunt” during the wrong hours of the day, that would be wrong, but you can be a lying fucking cunt., it’s all good.
…after this I never want to stay in another hotel again.
If we had money to leave, to do anything but go for a walk, it would be different.
Have a pizza, something. Food options are becoming scarce.
*takes a deep breath*
It’s been about a month, living in inexpensive old hotels, James hasn’t gotten another job yet…the companies are dragging on making a decision, we can’t leave the country yet (for one major reason that we cannot really tell anyone)
Though we’re probably going to go spend the weekend with three young boys, two Great Danes, two smaller dogs, four cats and an assortment of lizards, and guinea pigs…all indoor things, you can image the smell and noise. HELP!
Please. Please. Please let there be a job offer tomorrow. Pizza for dinner. And some sort of concrete plan.
Amsterdam might be (is, likely) a bust…but there’s still Ireland.
We need more toes and fingers to cross…we can’t keep going on like this. Are we being spoiled to be desiring James get a contract soon so we can get a hot lunch/dinner again, one that’s not instant soup? Crossing our fingers so we can have some macorni and cheese, and a burger. Maybe spaghetti and meatballs. Fries (or, chips, rather, as the case may be in England). We’re spoiled.
Crossing fingers. Crossing toes. WE NEED MORE FINGERS AND TOES!
It’s funny how we feel, okay I feel, like ifI write anything on our “big blog” it has to be long, or important, or highly interesting/entertaining and not just something saying:
Hey, we’re doing fine, James has had less work the last 24 hours and we’ve been playing on Twitter a bit, and/or spending time with him just laying about on the hotel bed; and I, personally, haven’t felt inspired to write…which makes me a little upset.
But really. We write a lot, and we feel like we should write everyday. Why? Because we’re afraid if we don’t, we’ll stop, and then be lost, and and and…it’s all irrational, I won’t bore you. It’s our (probably) irrational expectation (of each other).
So today we wrote here instead, as far as we know this blog gets far less traffic (plus people are less likely to pay attention because, you know…words, instead of vag shots, erotica, and kittens…), which makes it feel like a hidden corner.
Tomorrow James might find out about a new contract opportunity, again - the last one didn’t pan out so well. It’s a silly thing, we’re excited to go to dinner in a few minutes. It will be nice to have a hot meal for dinner.
A yummy chimi we ate on Sunday night.
Come on, admit it, you love food pictures only second (or third) to naked photos and kitten shots.